For happy news, please feel free to read a different post!
It has been unmercifully hot for the past week. In the third week of March the temperature in the aku room hit 120. My geraniums are well-watered but can't take the scorching. For the past few weeks, whenever I had a spare moment, and often when I did not, I was summoned by my family. There was confusing paperwork to look through. Copies to be made, decisions to consider. Several times in the past month I have bolted from work because there was family stuff to do. Or because I was so flipped out about it. Mrguy and I spoke to our estate attorney about any risk involved with selling the building. She asked a simple question: "What do you want mrguy's year to be like"? That was chilling. I don't want to feel the way I do right now, and certainly not if he's gone. But what about in-between? What am I putting him through with all the distress?
Urgent text messages have rained down upon us during my workday, telling us to look at important emails. When you find the email, it is marked up with highlights and fonts that change in the middle of words, looking like the digital equivalent of a ransom note. My sister, of course, was unaware of the font changes, but it's super distressing to be told to examine something and to have it be so illegible.
I have spoken to my siblings for hours on end this past week. We had two different two-hour meetings on Wednesday. Then the buyer came back with a reduced offer because of some bullshit excuse saying they had to retrofit the building. Our lawyer looked at the law and it says no such thing. It says that people have to file a letter before some time next year. And we know the buyer plans to flip the building right away so there is no way they're doing that work.
We came away from the second two-hour meeting deciding to go ahead and sell. Mrguy was super pissed. I feel trapped between my family and my family. I used the nuclear option and told my family to shove it. I cannot continue to live at this level of intensity any more and I want out of the family partnership. Take it. I want to be free, and to never have to deal with my sister again. Evvvvvver. I spoke to our lawyer to see if she could do the deed.
Then my sister pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Yes, reduced price. But they are going to take responsibility for the uncleared loans forever. I am weighing my options. I still want to have nothing to do with my sister.
I have a dysfunctional family. And a toxic relationship with my sister. She's the head of the family and summons us for family meetings whenever we are together. Why did I hate family "vacation?" Because we'd spend 2 hours a day discussing mom's medications or real estate. No meeting or phone call is fewer than 2 hours. It's always urgent. When I don't do things her way she gets mad or wears me down. This week felt like a trip back to the years 2015 through 2025 when I was the point person for my mom. The PTSD is real, people.
I don't know how this will pan out. My stomach is still in knots. Mrguy feels slightly guilty about yesterday when he was super pissed after a lifetime of my family's bullshit. He's on steroids, which kinda intensified his feelings. That helped me pull the trigger that I've wanted to pull for a long time.
More when I know it.
This is my desktop image from when I came home on Friday. The list of text messages didn't even fit on the screen.
