The One Where I Retire With An Empty Hand

So you know the story about how I'm retiring? Well I made my intentions known, mostly so that we can get some job reqs to backfill me in order to hire some folks for the archives team. Wednesday I met with my direct boss, who I really really like. I started to tell him about retiring and he looked a bit crestfallen. I touted my accomplishments because why not, because dozens of people have gotten voluntary retirement offers right after the sweet sweet packages that people got in the layoffs. He told me that he would take my story to the highest halls of power. That was so nice to hear. Today I had my answer, from my uber boss and then him.

If you retire on your own, you get nothing.You get COBRA (required by the state) and you get a lifetime pass to an amusement park (yawn -- also offered to anybody my age leaving the company). You think I'm stupid? I super rolled my eyes when this was mentioned to me and I believe that I uttered a bonus "fffffff".

Fuuuuck you people. I love my job, and I love the people who I work with and the people who we work with in the factory, but after this morning's conversations I told people who I know got the VERO to take it.

Imagine being told that you are part of the fabric of the company -- that you hold the history and help with the culture. They put you in front of cameras and trust you to craft the narrative of the company you love. They tell you that they saved your job and want you around. But that's really it. THEY want YOU around. And then they tell you that if you'd let them know you wanted to retire, they'd have tried to lay you off, but then again they couldn't have laid you off because they want to keep the position that you've built for them. Hope that makes sense. I'm still a little miffed.

So despite the fact that I am "appreciated" and have created a department, and have worked at this company for 26 years, and that the collection in the archives that exists and will exist long after I've gone is largely because of my vision, that counts for nothing. 

3 Days in One!

I basically had a three day weekend on the first day of a three day weekend.

The plan was for mrguy and I to go to breakfast. Then the call came. It was the rev. Her husband has been going through an awful and supremely painful and misdiagnosed and undiagnosed facial nerve pain. Everything hurts, all the time. A breeze can make him spasm. A neurologist would only meet him virtually, even when told that there were lumps forming in the painful areas. Primary doctor wouldn't refer him. Finally a dermatologist sent him for an emergency visit to a head and neck specialist. They think it's cancer, but the lesions are so hard that they can't get a biopsy. Developing.

My friend is devastated. She called. Nobody does that. I'm glad she did. Unsure of what to do for her, I asked if I could take her out of the house. She had a thing that she'd been invited to do in a neighboring ghost town. It's kinda inhabited, uninhabited, out of the way. I hadn't been there in decades. Well it turns out that there was some sort of art fair and a pop up and it was an embodiment of my friend. She finds the magical. I didn't quite understand where we were going or what we were doing, but I was down for whatever it was.

We drove the back way into town, which was windy and hot and dusty. I wasn't exactly sure where we were, but I figured that we were in the county somewhere. How lost could we be? Then we dropped into the main (possibly only) road. And found parking. 

A one block area had booths and tables set up. No crap. Only weirdness. Vintage and remade clothing. Garlands for sale that consisted entirely of jute string and the occasional old plaster baby leg. And the pop-up store that rev was looking for. 

In the back they were making Belgian waffles. In the middle were tables with a wine tasting area (we had n/a sprintzers). There was a woman with the most gorgeous hand dripped candles, and molded ones that were in the shape of chanterelles. There was a craft table for kids. And a woman who makes Polish chandeliers. They were gorgeous.

Then there was a store with cool old and new stuff. Ornamental items that looked like things you'd find in a general store in a German-American town in the 1930s.

and otherwise weird witchy stuff. Tis the season. She bought Abba-Zaba and Bottlecaps at a vintage t-shirt store. Then we went to a crystal store. What an amazing day.

I took rev home, and she gifted me with some figs for the way home. Green ones. Their flower ends were so devoid of flowery remains that I asked her if they'd gotten a Brazilian, which is usually the kind of joke that my friend of 46 years would find witty, but that shows you how dire the day's circumstances were. 

Then I headed to m.junior's open house to see if I could drop off some egg cartons. Her real estate partner said that I would find her at home. I've been hoarding egg cartons since m.junior's romantic partner posted on Insta that they needed some. Did I give them any in May? Nope. So they piled up in Tiger Brown. I was determined that this was going to be the day.

But first, REI. We are going to Ireland and I don't have a rain jacket. And I need a sling purse that will fit an iPad that can go under a rain jacket that I don't have. REI. Deep breath, people! It was a challenge, but I did what needed to be done, coming home with a plain black rain jacket and a sling purse that is in not-my-colors (goldenrod and lavender. what monsters came up with that combo?).

But we're not done. M.jr was home, so I went to her place and gave her many many egg cartons. She and her family have a wild compound. A guy lives in an airstream on her property. Her mom usually lives in Mexico but bought a huge RV to take down there with her. Many cars, many people pass through. They are a wonderful family. And then there are the chickens. They used to do Instagram stories about the chickens, building the coops, rehabbing furniture, welding. Aquanetta is the best-named chicken of all, and I'd never met her in person, so I asked to see her.

Here are the chickens being summoned with grain:

And here's Aquanetta, in the flesh. Her feathers are short and curl away from her body. Cute little bird person.

We are still not done. Our friend was coming over to hang out. So I made chili while those guys looked at maps, discussed Ireland, music, elderly parents, and life.

Then mrguy and I watched Derry Girls, episode 2.

Pretty Things

A Saturday

It is great to get out of the house, as much as I love to be in my house. 

Look at me right now. 

Happy. 

In the house. 

Looking for things to do that do not require me to move. 

Ahhh.

Yesterday was quite different. Precious nephew and I met up in the city to go see Josh Johnson.

First stop off of public transit was the jewelry store to pick up a repair. My new friend at the jewelry store is very complimentary about how I managed to find such an expensive ring for so little (used). I only spent $175.00 to get the ring replated. I felt guilty about the vast amount of cat hair I left on the chair.

I made better time than I thought, so I walked around looking for somewhere to have lunch. The jewelry store was pretty close to what mrguy calls the International Bad Behavior Zone, so I took my time and found a sunny spot to check my phone before going anywhere worse. I wanted to go to that place that has creamed spinach. Closed until 5. The fancy cafe where mrguy and I have been? Also closed. Permanently. So I walked and walked. Took photos of interesting architecture, and signs for clubs I'd never seen that I could look up later.

Finally I kinda gave up. There was a pub across the street and a marginal looking Japanese restaurant. Marginal Japanese sounded depressing, but I was hungry. It was marvelous.

My waiter resembled Edna Mode, only super nice. They had anago on the menu and in reality, which made me an immediate fan. Plus they had tenzaru soba. Cold.

They served me an immense mountain of food and I was convinced it would take me an hour to eat it. It almost did. The ladies next to me were telling each other their origin stories. One was married to a man whose ambition only derived from his wife's prodding. The other actually said that he felt uncomfortable if his wife was more educated than he was. Both men, it turns out, had lied to their wives about finishing college. The wife who wanted the Masters degree took the kids and got it. Her daughter resents her choice of a career to this day. The woman must be in her 50s. I excused myself, told them that I was not doing a good job of minding my own busines. That I thought their stories were fascinating, and I advised the woman who wanted the career to record what she'd just said, as she'd just said it, and share it with her daughter. Their stories were *fascinating* and there just isn't enough testimony out there about the lives of women as they began to enter the workforce in a time that simply wasn't ready for it. She worked for Nelson Rockefeller -- all so interesting. Then I tried to find something more interesting than the ladies and finished my meal.

Where was the venue, anyway? Maps told me it was only about 400 feet away. But it was at a 15% grade, looking like this:

Once I got to the top, and our venue, our seats were several flights of stairs above. I didn't feel so bad about the vast lunch after all.

Josh Johnson was great. His show was amazing -- all the performers!! Woo to my Ivy Leaves!! The warm up act was Mia Jackson. She told a funny story about being a tall lady of a certain build, and how someone came up to her to ask a directional question about the bus or something. She said that she realized that she had "transit directional body". Reminded me of the time in Ikea where tiny but mighty and I were shopping for a sofa for work, and wearing our crew jackets for the latest forklift, which were Ben Davis bomber jackets. Someone stopped us and asked a directional question -- "Where is the..." and we looked confused and he looked confused and it was clear that he thought we worked there. 

Anyhoo...

We had a great time and I got to share the latest company mishegoss with the nephew, who is in HR and therefore interested in all things personnel related. AI says we can expect more layoffs on November 6th, December 6th and January 2nd. 

Any of those work for me.