Texas

Last week bigsis and I took the mama to Texas. This is a trip we've tried to plan for years, but mom often threw up worry roadblocks. She worried that the weather might be bad, or that she'd have to host a dinner (the problem there is being the center of attention, not cost). Once we picked a date but then bigsis broke her back. Recently, after hearing that the mama's cousin was having some health problems I decided that it was time to go. I picked the nearest date prior to the holidays and charged ahead.

At first this was going to be a mama / baby trip. Then I realized that I was crazy to think I could do it on my own. So I invited bigsis, who was good company and a big help, especially with mama strategy.

On travel day we woke the mama up at 5am for the 7am shuttle pickup. We brought a cane and walker, used Sky Cap for the first time, had a wheelchair escort. A flight, a 2 1/2 hour drive, and by 8pm we were in the boosum of the family in Wichita Falls, home of my mom's first cousin. Most of our waking hours for the next 5 days was spent with mom's cousin and his wife, two of their daughters, a daughter-in-law and a boyfriend. We talked incessantly. We looked at graveyards, we opened a box of photos that nobody had seen for years. And each of our days was bracketed by the process of getting the mama ready for the day and ready for bed (about an hour on each end, depending). Mom's cognition was spotty, but when she was there she was there, and the cousins loved their visit. So did we.

On Saturday we saw a local production of a musical about Wichita Falls playing at a theater in the old downtown. On our way there, we did a tour of some local cemeteries. I'd planned ahead and downloaded cemetery spreadsheets. Little did we know that we'd need them because of hidden cemetery location markers. Can't believe I was running around a cemetery with a laptop, but it worked. We were looking for section O, but couldn't find it until we started using the spreadsheet to search for unusual names and trying to triangulate where we were. One cousin has an unusual knack for finding gravestones, so we each used our strengths to find what we needed. We did this in both city and county cemeteries and were pretty successful. Found our great-great grandfather's grave, and his first wife's. The stone itself answered our question of how she died (in childbirth). One cousin went back while we were at the play and took a rubbing. We also made a detour to see the Littlest Skyscraper.

Saturday evening our cousins invited other cousins and half-cousins over. The half cousins were from our great-grandfather's first marriage. Our hosts put on a huge spread for us, hired help for the evening. It was a great time. Eventually someone brought out the picture with Teddy Roosevelt, Quanah Parker and our uncle.

Sunday drove out to the cemetery in Charlie, then the country club and then we took a huge nap. 

The spread at the country club was great. Yes, there was prime rib, but my real interest was the two kinds of okra (fried, pickled). Did I mention that our hosts had buttermilk in the fridge? Perfect people. After the nap we had a visit from a daughter and her boyfriend and the daughter-in-law. We ate Bluebell ice cream. Have the coffee flavor. It's tremendous.

Monday we drove around the city and heard about every person who lives in every house. I now know that if I lived there everybody would know my business because I now know theirs ;) Sis and I slipped out for a few hours to go to the library (they have an amazing genealogy section) and visit the grocery store for a few minutes. I loved the New Age Beverages sign, Sugary Sam sweet potatoes and Best Maid pickled okra.

Then we had a big steak dinner under the warm gaze of taxidermed steer.

The trip back was insane. Mom had fallen out of bed and was convinced we were taking her to the hospital. It took an hour and half to get her out of the house. She complained about everything, including the divider between first class and economy "this displeases me," she said while flapping it around. On the other hand she found great delight in making French toast out of toast and syrup at IHop. We asked a great deal of her, considering her age and Alzheimers. All in all, it was an amazing trip. I can't wait to see our cousins again.