I'm going to buy a Super Soaker, just like the big guy had, and I'm going to point it at the mockingbird that sits on our unused satellite dish and calls, day and night. Then I will shoot him.
The big guy had a major grudge against the peacocks that roamed free on the island where he lived. They wandered around and called all day and could lay a poop the size of an adult human thumb (male). So for fun, and out of exasperation, he'd load up the Super Soaker and shoot. Or he'd hurl a bath sheet at them, while emitting a roar that still frightens me to this day when I think about it.
His lawn was littered with peacock crap and bath sheets.
When I told mrguy last night that I was considering getting a Super Soaker he looked horrified. This, coming from a man who boasted that he threw a rock on the roof and scared the mockingbird away. But he wasn't trying to *hit* the bird, he said. I countered that I wasn't trying to hurt the mockingbird, but merely to *moisten* him.
About the time that we on the lanai mincing words about intent and rocks and water, we saw a HUGE bird fly into the pine tree next door. It was a turkey. Once ensconced, he proceeded to climb the tree one branch at a time, using his big old fan-shaped tail to counterbalance. I have never seen anything like it.
So dramatic! We watched for about 15 minutes, as he climbed higher, occasionally gobbling. In the picture below he's in the bottom-most clump of branches to the right. Those branches are easily as tall as our house.
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