Holidaze 2020

Every year mrguy and I hold down the fort for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and the mama's birthday, making sure that it all happens for Mom.

This year will be different because of the pandemic. 

Thanksgiving itself was a trial, and we got through it. That's the short version.

My oldest sis started worrying about the holidays a few months ago. Then I did, and started seeing a counselor who deals with families of elders, so I could figure out how to talk about Mom caregiving and holiday stuff with my middle sister.

I could offer more detail, here, but that would be frustrating for all. Suffice to say that the pandemic will continue, I feel like our caregivers could use days off, and I do not want to risk my own life to give it to them. In May I reached out to my sister said that caring for Mom more than we care for our own lives and happiness seems unfair and (among other things) I suggested adding a caregiver to give days off to the others. The email was brushed off, and when it came time for the holidays I was asked if I could pitch in. When I reminded her of the unanswered email of 6 months ago, and suggested that we talk to a mediator to help us through the conversation before I agreed -- well there was anger and accusations and this is one of the reasons why I don't have much of a relationship with the person who used to be the center of my belief system.

My sister asked the caregivers to work the holidays. Eventually she agreed to an additional caregiver. I will now find one. And the counseling will happen (at least once) on Wednesday.

Thanksgiving came and went. Mrguy and I made an entire turkey dinner (plus one for our caregiver to take home to her husband). Brought it to the mama, and the next day when I went to see her she said "Will we be together for Thanksgiving?" I reminded her that it was yesterday and we'd made her dinner. Oh well! Caregiver and her husband really appreciated the dinner, and that made me happy.

The good news about her forgetfulness is that she doesn't know the difference between my car and hers. Her car is gone -- I gave it to charity (and did not tell her), so I'm glad that my car fills that need for her. However as we sat on a bench outside her building the other day talking about Thanksgiving, she looked at my license plate and got an angry look on her face. Then she said "When were you going to tell me?" I thought my goose was cooked, and that she figured out I've been pretending my car was hers. Nope, she noticed the scrapes in my front bumper and was mad that I put them there. I ended up apologizing for not taking better care of her car. You gotta laugh.

OMG.