A dear friend invited me to do a juice cleanse this week. Of all of her friends, many of whom are hippie granola or second generation descendants of commune folks, mrsguy is the only one who responded yes. I want to be supportive, I thought it might be a good reset, and I'm curious. I made it three days before I thought this decision was actually dangerous for me.
The liquids I prepared were beautiful and smelled great, and not fully pureed (my blender is 33 years old). So the texture was unfortunate. Then I realized that the cleanse has tasks about every hour and a half. Take spirulina tablets. Take activated charcoal. Drink a pungent liquid. Drink psyllium and chia mixed with water three times a day. Eat this stiff green salad. Drink your dinner. Somehow drink 8 glasses of lemon water also.
By morning of Day 3, I had an insane headache, I was dizzy, my body hurt and I had to go to work to clean out someone's office (i.e. lifting heavy objects and bending over). I began to feel like I'd rather not eat the rest of the week rather than have this little control. When my latent anorexia gets triggered that's a very bad sign. Also, the audiobook that the kitten likes is about the Troubles in Northern Ireland, and there is graphic description of force feeding of hunger strikers. The whole thing messed with my head.
So I guess we learned something. A good friend said "Juice cleanses are not for working girls," and she was right. I was suffering in a way that felt unproductive -- like I needed to be waited on -- because of this choice I'd made to be on a fucking juice fast. You're supposed to feel great when it's over, and I feel like I'm recovering instead.
We live and learn.
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