I Can't Win -- Ed Ho

Mrguy used to work with a guy named Ed Ho, who often said "I can't win",  apropos of actual winning (gambling), computer systems tech support, and other stuff. In the intervening years his name has become synonymous with things that can't be fixed. Witness the following:

I was thinking with my mouth open just now, explaining to mrguy how I want to duct tape the controls on the passenger side of my car because my mom fiddles with the window controls every few minutes while we're driving together. She also fiddles with the door mechanism and whines when she's not getting what she wants or is uncomfortable. I'm sure that in previous stories I've mentioned the patented guy family narrow threshold of coziness? Yeah. It could lead to death some day.

Imagine this: I'm on the freeway with mom and her caregiver. Both of them are talking to me. As is the voice of Google Maps. Mom wants some air, so she starts pushing the buttons that unlock the door. I engage the child lock or un-engage the child lock, usually the opposite of what needs to happen. If mom doesn't get what she wants, she starts complaining. In about two minutes she wants me to undo whatever I just did. I'm never quite sure that the child lock is on, so I have many quiet heart attacks in the driver's seat while the fiddler does her important fiddling work. 

I want it to stop. I want to duct tape the controls. Hearing my plight, mrguy wants me to always have the child lock on. But he's not stuck in the car with my whiny mom.

Did I mention that there were too many trees and not enough land during our drive yesterday? I can't tell if she was trying to be funny on purpose.

Ed Ho.