Unbelievable

Just when you think it can't get worse...

Nobody knows how to handle my mom. She was pretty good when she got home yesterday, but now she's violent. Scratched and hit her caregiver. Won't take her meds. Is throwing things and breaking things. Threatening to kill people.

The Hammer is maxed. The nurse has called to tell us what's happening. The Hammer called me to say that we're having a shift change and mom will be with a new caregiver (a stranger) and she's fearful of what mom will do. I told her that we couldn't really call the cops on her because she's not a real danger to anyone or herself. What's the worst thing that could happen? She could gouge her eyes out, apparently. My opinion is that if she did, then we'd have something to go on. You can't call the cops when all that's happening is that a bedridden person is violently angry from their bed. After I said this I heard unhappy sounds on the other end of the phone.

I ended my conversation by suggesting that my sister call the new caregiving folks and asking how *they'd* handle it. She did, but after that we had another conversation in which she suggested there was an impending lawsuit. I was clutching my pearls over that one, assuming it would be against us. But actually it would be us suing the facility over their decision not to give my mom a drug that she was prescribed because our insurance doesn't cover it. They didn't inform us, and that is a problem. Of course she spits out all of her meds, so I'm not sure how we're going to get that drug into her even if it is available to us. Perhaps blow dart, like they use on elephants in the wild. My older sister is on the case re: meds this morning, so hopefully we'll at least have the drug to offer.

Last night ended with the new caregiving team doing great and my poor sister, whose shoulders this is all falling on, being able to rest. Right now the philosophical difference between her and I is that she believes that mom has another calm spell in her that is worth her having and that I believe that this could be the end of the calm times. My sister has been right many times, so we'll see. 

I feel like when things are this stressful you have to take a step back and pretend she's someone else's mom. If this weren't happening to you, how would you handle it?

Meanwhile I'm still in bed with boy kitten. Cough, headache, fatigue. I will work tomorrow.

I am no help : (