It's been an eventful few weeks. There are layoffs in our parent company which are a prelude to our own, upcoming in a few weeks. Our sister-in-law died suddenly after years of bad health. A dear friend's sister died after giving cancer the finger for many years. And another friend's sister died suddenly in a car accident caused by a crazy person who drove the wrong way on the freeway and then took off her clothes after the accident and tried to get in peoples' cars. Our friend was killed immediately and her 14-year-old is in the hospital. The friend always seemed like a magical being -- sparkling, silly, gorgeous, friendly. You noticed her immediately when she entered the room. But things are never what they seem, and her brother who is our close friend, has been much better off since his estrangement from her and his parents. It's left me wondering what happens when you have a complicated relationship with someone who dies.
My mom has been tougher and tougher to deal with. She has long violent angry episodes. She lashes out. She is verbally abusive, and also physically abusive. We have been having trouble with weekend caregivers leaving her in bed and being pigly. The weekday caregivers find my mom lethargic and the place a mess. That makes them unhappy and we need them to be happy. There was a major showdown with a new caregiver on Sunday. Mom said she'd kill her if she saw her again, something that she repeated over and over during my visit on Tuesday. Mom's skin tears incredibly easily, and every time she saw the wounds on her hands (tears in the shape of her own fingernails) it would remind her of the caregiver and how she was going to kill her.
I have to steel myself for these visits more often now.
No comments:
Post a Comment