Amidst the Chaos

On that drive, yesterday, I heard the life story of our caregiver for that day. She was young and cheerful. I really liked her, and asked a lot of questions especially during our drive during which mom was surprisingly calm and mostly slept. I knew this wouldn't last long. Mom doesn't like caregivers who are young, or heavy or black (unless she does) or unattractive ("I just don't want to look at her all day"). That last comment was from 7 years ago when she was much more together. It's mortifying, on top of everything else.

[Edit] I decided to cut out the life story of our caregiver, which is interesting but super challenging for her. I couldn't believe how buoyant she was for all she seems to have going on in her life. She and I gabbed and gabbed and it was nice to chat with her.

She and I enjoyed the ride, at least. And in the midst of a sucky day caring for my mom we saw a pink house and a little white bunny with a grey racing stripe down his back.

Unbelievably, the caregiver survived my mom and all of her screaming and telling her to get out -- all the drama. She came back the next day, and then she asked if we had permanent caregivers for my mom's weekends. She wants to work with us. I have no idea why. If I could snap my fingers I would send my mom off into the next dimension so that neither she nor we would have to suffer any longer. But hey, if this kid wants to have us I'm interested.

Tomorrow we are having a family meeting. I am taking the day off to absorb it all and hopefully make good choices for mom. Give her more drugs!!