Another Week

Two days until our first oncology consultation on Monday. Mrguy is having trouble eating or wanting to eat. We did watch an episode of Suits last night, which was a joy. I've joined two esophageal cancer fb groups. Community is how I cope.

I've been working this week. My colleagues are incredibly supportive.

Mornings seem to be good-ish for mrguy. He can eat a little something, take a shower and then rest.

And that's what I've got. I am freaked out, worried about running the house and paying bills and taxes and when mrguy doesn't want to eat I feel devastated (but push down the feelings).

All of this is moving so fucking slowly. I need treatment to hurry up and happen.

Update -- Sitting here with mrguy in the kitchenden, and when I'm with him it all seems fine somehow. He's on his green chair with Gordon on his lap, reading the news on his phone. He mentioned the other day that the Giants have a player who is super handsome and so popular that his dog has an Instagram account. So I went and looked at Insta. I just lurk and never post.

Never did find the dog's account, but I did reconnect with whathavewedunoon. I started following this account about a year into Claire and Cal's restoration story, but it is super gripping.

https://www.instagram.com/whathavewedunoon/

I looked at it and thought -- what if mrguy's journey is like them? What if he's a work in progress that can be fixed somehow? Lots of challenges but a resolution. I'll hold onto that today.

For now...