Practicing

I may have mentioned that this is mental health week. I'm trying not to beat myself up too much, if that's possible. I've been high anxiety and low capacity. But I'm also kinda practicing for retirement. What's going to work for me? What do I need in order to be able to enjoy it?

I need to do one productive thing per day. That allows me to enjoy the other things. So this is my yesterday:

• Hanging with mrguy, drinking coffee and talking about politics and cancer
• Genealogy research
• Making organizational schema for family documents
• Estate stuff / Important Mom Docs
• Real estate: past real estate information
• Real estate: tenants, subtenants, floor plans, money stuff
• Family trust stuff

• Office supply store for clear bins
• Sorting, sorting sorting
• Office supply store to swap broken clear bin for an unbroken one

Why would I do this on my week off? Because I want to sort these documents into categories that I know I can discard without worry as soon as possible. I have ten boxes of family stuff in my garage and two empty file cabinets that I want to get rid of. I don't want the emotional burden and the physical space that it takes up. Maybe I'll look at the jade fruit and stuff next. I want to know what I have here at my house.

Then I rewatched the D.A. Pennebaker documentary "'Original Cast Album: “Company'”. I have had "Ladies Who Lunch" stuck in my head for days. Then I looked up where I could listen to the digitized Frontera Collection, and listened to some recordings by Marta Triana and Manuelita Arriola.

A good first weekday.

Weekend Stuff

I feel better. I tried very diligently to feel the calm today. I'm even wearing my "Live In The Meow" shirt.

On Friday I congratulated myself for taking the next week off, but then quickly realized that this week is chemo week and talking-to-the-oncologist-about-next steps day, and such. They're even talking about mrguy resuming his kanjinti this week in the hospital with an overnight stay. Oh well. I will do everything in my power to un-lax. But we only have today and tomorrow to hang out together before the fun starts. I'm even thinking of having Norwegian dinner on Sad Saturday, since mrguy will be sadding.

This morning we went out to breakfast at the place down the hill, which was great. I remembered not to eat my whole meal, and for that reason I did not feel like I needed to sleep right away. Did a little genealogy sleuthing, and then went out to an estate sale. I just really needed to get some new stuff into my eyeballs.

It was not as I expected. Sometimes you go to an estate sale and it's Hoarder City. So much hoarding. Lots of mold. Lots of crafts that it looked like she was going to try to sell. It was the third day of the sale and you could barely navigate. She even hoarded orchids. There were dozens of orchids in pots in the back yard. I left without finding anything, and feel pretty great about that. Feast your eyes on some gourd porn.

The hoarder house street (in the slide area, and also so narrow that I had to back into someone's driveway to do a 3-point turn rather than continue the way I was headed) had one house whose plantings made my heart sing. I love camellias and banksia.

I was already out and about, and it's a beautiful day so I went back down the hill to the car wash. It rarely disappoints. And there was a great song on the radio, Remington Rand, by The Particles. 

On the way home a woman didn't see that I had the right of way and cruised through the intersection and I barely missed a collision while swerving and screaming. So much for that relaxation.

Tomorrow we will take a drive to a wetland we've never been to and we will look at birds. And possibly otters or nutria or whatever other vermin hangs out there.

Protest -- Or Mrs Guy Gets Her Yayas Out

There is no photographic evidence, but mrguy and I went out to the local large street to wave at cars and get them to honk today. It was joyous, lovely, kind and loud. A woman asked mrguy "Is she *always* like this?" and he replied "Yes. 24/7." I told her "It's been a rough couple of weeks and I need to get my yayas out".

And that's the story. It was so great to have mrguy with me. Last time the protest was held during chemo week on what he calls "Sad Saturday", which is a day that's hard for him. On that occasion I came back to the house after protesting for a while, and then took him out in Tiger Brown so he could see the crowd and experience it a little bit.

Today's highs were a man who had a sign "90 and Pissed", lots of smiling and cheerful neighbors, a vintage car club that made two circles around the block, lots of honkers, and one middle finger. Why is it that mrguy, who is one of the nicest people, is always the guy who gets the finger?

I noticed a few things -- the early car crowd wasn't necessarily there for us. The people with Tiny Tree air fresheners were not fans, at least in the first hour. Then the people with different-colored or multi-colored tree air fresheners seemed to honk, and the cars with green ones were pretty resolute, as a group in their disdain. We had a bunch of repeats who drove by several times. And one guy who pulled over and I thought he said "I'm gay and I voted for Trump," but folks with better hearing said that he said "I'm gay and I love you," or something more positive. I see you, gay man who pulls over to support!!

Waves of people arrived by public transit starting around 11:30, and we left around 12:30, secure in our knowledge that we were not emptying the crowd. We grabbed Tiger Brown and ran the gauntlet ourselves, honking for the entire city block. 

It was great.

Then I went to the supermarket, bought some celery root, and made this soup.

Delicious! Adding potatoes...

Celebrity Dreams 2026

Last night I fell asleep watching an interview of Jose Andres by Trevor Noah and combined the two people in my dream. 

We were making an impromptu dinner at my house and I showed Jose Andres all of the proteins my freezer. I referred to it as my "meat library".

I was charged with making a yeast-based flatbread. I was supposed to know how to do it without a recipe, but I also needed to show people where things were in my kitchen. Then I had to ask for help with the recipe and after that I made some very sad looking dough. Jose Andres / Trevor Noah helped me behind my back, and improved and portioned my dough.

Not sure how it turned out, other than as a blog post.

A Friday : )

If it's Friday, it's dermatology day!

New spots. New opportunities for removal. New opportunities for Mohs surgery?

Hopefully not.

Other Kine News

It's baaaack!

Today we went for mrguy's endoscopy and they "found a mass".

The doctors knew that something was up because of his recent PET scan, and have been awaiting the news. They are primed to act, so we look forward to talking to his oncologist and team asap to decide on a plan of action.

In the meantime he is processing the info very well, and is about to watch his favorite team on Opening Day.

Really, things could be lots worse.

I'm headed to the bedroom to wake him up :)

A few more things:

1) Prior to the endoscopy he participated in a study by blowing into a plastic bag. They are comparing the volatile elements that they find in the air of patients who have EC to see if they can find any markers that they could use in the future to detect it.

2) When he woke up from the anaesthesia this morning he was trying to speak, but they couldn't understand him. He told me he was trying to say "What are all of these people doing in my room?"

Garden News

I have been depressed. And doing family stuff that makes me feel crummy. But I went out into the garden the other day and got over myself. 

Nature!!

In the front yard the orchids are blooming. Such an embarrassment of riches. Orchids that just grow in your yard without any help. I took photos, brought some in, and shared some with ms clam, who lately has been in the guise of her alter ego: mama bear.

Also of note, our orange tree is doing its thing. As a reminder, last year it formed oranges for the first time in our 12 years at this address. Then the gardeners misunderstood mrguy's instructions and cut off the branch they were on. Well right now there are two oranges that you can barely make out in the center of the photo. One is the size of a tennis ball. The other is the size of a softball. And there are many huge blossoms that are the size of my pinkie finger's first joint (the one with the nail).

Can't wait to see what happens.

Family Divorce

For happy news, please feel free to read a different post!

It has been unmercifully hot for the past week. In the third week of March the temperature in the aku room hit 120. My geraniums are well-watered but can't take the scorching. For the past few weeks, whenever I had a spare moment, and often when I did not, I was summoned by my family. There was confusing paperwork to look through. Copies to be made, decisions to consider. Several times in the past month I have bolted from work because there was family stuff to do. Or because I was so flipped out about it. Mrguy and I spoke to our estate attorney about any risk involved with selling the building. She asked a simple question: "What do you want mrguy's year to be like"? That was chilling. I don't want to feel the way I do right now, and certainly not if he's gone. But what about in-between? What am I putting him through with all the distress?

Urgent text messages have rained down upon us during my workday, telling us to look at important emails. When you find the email, it is marked up with highlights and fonts that change in the middle of words, looking like the digital equivalent of a ransom note. My sister, of course, was unaware of the font changes, but it's super distressing to be told to examine something and to have it be so illegible.

I have spoken to my siblings for hours on end this past week. We had two different two-hour meetings on Wednesday. Then the buyer came back with a reduced offer because of some bullshit excuse saying they had to retrofit the building. Our lawyer looked at the law and it says no such thing. It says that people have to file a letter before some time next year. And we know the buyer plans to flip the building right away so there is no way they're doing that work.

We came away from the second two-hour meeting deciding to go ahead and sell. Mrguy was super pissed. I feel trapped between my family and my family. I used the nuclear option and told my family to shove it. I cannot continue to live at this level of intensity any more and I want out of the family partnership. Take it. I want to be free, and to never have to deal with my sister again. Evvvvvver. I spoke to our lawyer to see if she could do the deed.

Then my sister pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Yes, reduced price. But they are going to take responsibility for the uncleared loans forever. I am weighing my options. I still want to have nothing to do with my sister. 

I have a dysfunctional family. And a toxic relationship with my sister. She's the head of the family and summons us for family meetings whenever we are together. Why did I hate family  "vacation?" Because we'd spend 2 hours a day discussing mom's medications or real estate. No meeting or phone call is fewer than 2 hours. It's always urgent. When I don't do things her way she gets mad or wears me down. This week felt like a trip back to the years 2015 through 2025 when I was the point person for my mom. The PTSD is real, people.

I don't know how this will pan out. My stomach is still in knots. Mrguy feels slightly guilty about yesterday when he was super pissed after a lifetime of my family's bullshit. He's on steroids, which kinda intensified his feelings. That helped me pull the trigger that I've wanted to pull for a long time.

More when I know it.

This is my desktop image from when I came home on Friday. The list of text messages didn't even fit on the screen.

Feuerzangenbowle 2026

We finally did it. The feuerzangenbowle dinner. I bought the feuerzangenbowle set in 2022, then we had to wait for the pandemic to be over, and our friends to stop traveling for a minute. Then mrguy got cancer and then he got better, then our friend came over last month and he and I started talking about spaetzle and schnitzel. It was ON!

We had a couple weeks' notice. I was going to make chicken schnitzel. Couldn't remember what sauce I served with it last time, but I saw a recipe for chicken schnitzel with mustard sauce and I just so happen to have purchased a very large bottle of Bautz'ner senf (mittelscharf) that would just plus the whole thing.

Then I went to an estate sale the week before and bought a german cookie form for ten bucks. I have always wanted one! So I was going to need to make cookies. And during the week we did a bread baking class at a brewery, and I had amazing fresh bread to serve. And of course I made a compound butter to serve with it.

The first step in making feuerzangenbowle is to make mulled wine. I got all decorative with that sh$t so I could take a picture for readers of mrsguy. The leaves are from our allspice tree, purchased from fastgrowingtrees.com during the pandemic. The tree is not fast growing. It is still only four feet tall, but the leaves are delicious and I use them in applesauce...and flaming punch, now, I guess.

The cookies turned out great. I made a Dutch speculaas cookie dough and watched some YouTube videos on how to make the cookies. Should have made them the day before, which I will do next time.

Our friends brought sides and different kinds of spaetzle and accoutrements and we had a great dinner. One friend took over the making of the mustard sauce, and it was delish.

And then we made the punch after dinner. You take the heated punch and put it in the bowl. Unwrap the zuckerhut and put it on the metal thingie that is suspended over the warmed punch. Pour a ladle full of 58% rum over the sugar. Turn out the lights. Set it on fire and watch the melting, rum-soaked sugar drop into the punch. Although the guys started a quiet drone-chant of "feuerzangen, feuerzangen, feuerzangen bowle", this is not traditional. 

It was so fun!

March 2026 Vortex of Power

I was enjoying my first duty-free weekend, when my family upended it again. Welcome to my life.

I am the holder of around ten boxes of my parents' paperwork related to everything from bank statements to tax statements to medical bills, to calendars, to everything related to a piece of property we're trying to sell. In a different state, my sister is dealing with our mom's estate and the real estate deal. This piece of property was my dad's life work. It belonged to my mom, had an unbreakable 75-year lease, and they intended for it to continue to pass down through the family after my mom died.

Out of the blue comes an offer. They do a title search and it turns out that there are two "outstanding" loans. I have all of the documents to prove that they've been paid off. My parents never filed the paperwork to make it official. Not sure why. They tried to get the official documents from the lenders, as my dad's correspondence shows, but he couldn't get it. In one case he had been paying the people who had the promissory note, and finally paid it off. The bank confirmed this in a letter, and the bank asked the people to fork over the promissory note so that we could clear title, but the individuals who held the note did not provide it to my dad. Similar story with the other loan. Paid off, and didn't get the note.

I have been looking through the documents for weeks. And spending time at work to make pdfs. Last week I was so beyond frustrated with this whole situation, and I was asked to look again. I made a weekend of it, researching and collecting and then spending five hours scanning. I found a document that my mom scribbled on, giving the order of the lenders over a 20-year loan. None of the bank documents listed the address of the property, so if she hadn't jotted it down I would not have understood what I was looking at. 

This week our real estate attorney came over to double-check my work, at my request. He agrees that the docs are not there, but that the two loans were definitely paid off. I thought I was done!! argh.

This is the kind of stuff that has occupied some of my weekends. The requests for my time and effort from family are urgent and unexpected. I had hoped that this weekend would be free. And now we have a family meeting with lawyer tomorrow. 

My schpilkes have returned.

3 Movies, 3 Days

Last Saturday I took Rev to see the new forklift movie. Then I got to show her the forklift archives, and I posed her for photos with forklifts so that she could show her mom.

On Sunday mrguy and I went to see the new Paul McCartney and Wings movie in a theater. Everybody in the theater was really old, and I felt younger than 50% of the audience and mrguy informed me that I was wrong about that. The pre-show music featured some of the worst Wings music ever made. You know how a Paul McCartney song starts out strong and then has a B part that is super squizzy? Those songs.

The movie itself was great. No repellent songs, because Morgan Neville has good taste. The film was more about the people than the music, I'd say. I didn't realize that Denny Laine was a stalwart of the Wings band while others came and went. There were cute animals. Mrguy is really moved by cute animals.

Then we grabbed felafel at the place across the street and went home. It was a perfect day.

On Monday, clamdip2020 and I went to see "Homecoming: the Tokyo Series" about Japan and baseball. What's not to like? We got there early, which allowed us time to go to the new huge Japanese supermarket. And then the movie. It was so good! It centered around specific games held in Tokyo, but told the stories of various people who follow baseball. Americans who came to Japan for the games, athletes who were born in Japan but playing for MLB teams, a mom and son who run a baseball program for little kids, a place where you can rehab your vintage mitt, a guy who is a hair stylist and also keeps a museum for one of the players. It was great. Highly recommended.

I've Been Missing, Sorta

I haven't blogged about Hawaii for various reasons, and when we came back I didn't feel like it. I've been doing things. Been busy.

The day after we came back from Hawaii, mrguy had to go in for his ambulatory EEG. They put electrodes on your head, lash it all down with webbing, and you walk around like that for two days while writing down the time and symptom description whenever you feel weird. I thought he looked adorable in the weird contraption, hence the photo.

The EEG checked out as ok / there is nothing wrong with his brain. But his new neurologist specializes in seizures, and that seems to be what's afoot. She thinks they are caused by the chemical load of his chemotherapy meds. She prescribed a mild anti-seizure medication, which immediately gave him his first migraine in 6 months. We're expecting side-effects, but this was a very un-fun one for mrguy.

Then he had a PET scan. It shows a possible recurrence. Or not? This one is in his esophagus and it's soft tissue. Could be inflammation. On followup with our oncologist he said he wasn't too concerned. Decided against an endoscopy, but then scheduled one. We know that the doctors were conferring in the background, so I have a feeling that someone else weighed in and advised the endoscopy after all. His clinical trial doctor, who he meets with periodically, was aware of the updates to mrguy's situation. Mrguy got to have one of his medications infused that week, but they didn't give him his anti-nausea drugs (which he never needs cause he's not nauseated ever) and gave him compazine, instead. He did great. No weirdness. Next week he "gets" to have the full chemo regimen. Hope it shrinks whatever it is in his genechtagazoink and I hope he is infused without incident.

In the meantime time marched on and I had a funeral of a workmate to go to. 

All the founders were there, and none of them brought their second wives, who were the *correct* wives but didn't really know the deceased so well. I kinda went into hostess mode, inviting my faves to the table where I was sitting and inadvertently but happily excluding the one OG who I've blocked on my phone and fb. It's possible that he didn't want to join us because there's an allegiance issue with one of the other founders who was not present at this event. Both feel butt hurt about how they left the forklift factory. The reason that I blocked him was that before the guy was laid off, I tried to find him work to do within our department, at his request. But (and this was a problem always) he didn't look at his calendar, visit his office often, respond to email or to voicemail. You could barely contact him, but then he'd mysteriously stop by your office from time to time. He lost his job in one of the big layoffs. Afterward, he was still a fb friend and one of my go-to people for historical information, so I'd reach out to ask questions. He'd promise gobs of information, but again never followed through. He was a tease. One day I posted a fb memory of mrguy and I in Hawaii. My former colleague saw it and commented that it was nice that I was in Hawaii when people like him were out of work. I pointed out to him that the memory was from 5 years earlier, when we all still worked together. Then I blocked him on every device. He could have found a job, and certainly had talents, but I think that he was so shocked from being canned that it wrecked him. I think that there was a part of him that assumed that his prior accomplishments would render him immune from harm. None of us is unexpendable, my man.

Eusa Kills

Yeah. So we dismantled a successful agreement with Iran because the Black President put it together. And then the Orange President bombed Iran, killing dozens of young girls. And Iran is lashing out at the countries around it. 

Don't we feel better now?

Eusa Kills

Vacation -- A Saturday

Ask me about Twix Head Spa. You can find their videos on YouTube. Also ASMR. And autism.

And now that you did, yesterday was rough. The murder of Alex Pretti happened. Multiple eyewitness videos documented the incident including, presumably, his own. That's the second ICE murder in Minneapolis in a week. It's easy to feel helpless in these times. Also guilty, because it's the first day of my vacation and we are going to Hawaii. But I located the scheduled protest locations in Honolulu, and am bringing cardboard and some markers in my suitcase.

I was too depressed to do much. I worked on my vacation list of things to do. Then I went to get a mani-pedi because I knew the result would make me feel more human. My usual place (the place where I've been a time or two) was busy so I picked a larger place that I'd never been to before. It was very nice.

I mostly like mani-pedis when they're over. There's the question of whether or not to interact with the stylist. There's the scrubbing of the bottom of the foot (I warned her that I might scream, and I clasped my face the whole time). Then there's trying to fiddle with your purse to pay without ruining the manicure.

All success! But it was a sensory extravaganza. There was soft female music playing. A song about a sweater that was polyester. And the world's longest ASMR video where they do things to a lady's head and hair. Endless, endless treatments. Steam, water, ointments, soaps, halo contraptions that are suspended over the hairline and shower you with tiny jets of whatever. Then the neck massage with a thin, smooth rock, and an arm massage. At one point I asked the manicurist if the treatment ever ends. I guess my expectation was that you'd dry off.

Occasionally she'd press a button on my chair and the uncomfortable lumps would move around on my back. Massage. I did try to lean into the experience, because you should.

As usual, I felt really good after the mani-pedi was over. But getting to that point is a sensory overload.

When I got home our dear friend was there. We hung out until late in the night (for us!). I fell asleep watching an autistic comedian and doing online tests about autism. She had me at clothing tags being too scratchy. Also I think her tone has affected the tone of this post. But I feel somewhat seen ; )

I woke up and told mrguy about the salon experience. It made him anxious. Maybe I'm making you anxious as well.

Is Minnesota the place where our next civil war will take place? I would not have guessed.

A Saturday

Iron loading! The second set of blood tests were a mixed bag. Some normal, but some results the same. Apparently I have iron deficiency anemia. This week I ate iron rich foods, and also fretted. I read somewhere that alcohol can inhibit iron absorption, so I'm on the wagon at the mo'. And that Vitamin C assists in iron absorption, so I bought a bag of Cara Caras. And dried apricots and prunes. My favorite cereal (plain old Cheerios) with whole milk goes a huge way toward my daily allowance of iron. And finally, after I pressed for it, they prescribed iron pills. I also have to do a fecal kit this week. Gross! At the end of this week I am meeting with my gyno to see what they were able to determine about my innards. Then we go to Hawaii.

Saturday was great. Last week's magnificent lasagne went away happily, and chili is about the most iron-rich thing you can make (two kinds of protein from meat and beans, plus Vitamin C from tomato sauce). Yes, I know it isn't really a traditional chili, but it's delicious -- and shut up. Traditional guy family chili, augmented by "cheese Stonehenge". Ahhhh.

While buying my ingrediments for the chili, I stopped off at the pet food store. My cat grass crop is so sad that I've had to ration it, and boy kitten loves it so. This is what he looks like after he has had his fill of grass. Soooo happy.

We watched lots of Trevor Noah on Saturday, finishing the interview with John Oliver. Then on to the one with John Stewart. During one of the segments two owls began a conversation outside. So good. Then we started imitating them. Boy kitten was going nuts, in his usual mayor position on the window sill, with the window open. After a few tries on my part the owls began responding to me. 

I'm not sure what we were talking about, but it was a delight.

Post Op

I got my hoo-haw did today. All parts are still there, but they checked things out, took samples and will report back. Here's why.

In August I poked myself while administering an etrogen tablet. Ouch! It bled, so I went to the gyno. My appt was our first meeting, so he wanted to be extra sure about the state of my organs. He ordered an ultrasound.

The paid professional administering the test to me was unable to find the target location, if you get my drift. PAID PROFESSIONAL. Human. Biological female. Kept jabbing me in the pubic bone instead of finding the TARGET AREA. Oy. Also did a shit job on the imaging.

I had to do a second ultrasound. Got the images. Doctor wanted more information. He made an appointment to get in there and take some samples. My body would not cooperate. Had to do an in-patient procedure under general anaesthesia. And that was today.

In the meantime, someone ordered some bloodwork for me. I have anemia. I asked what the next steps are after this diagnosis, and they said that as soon as we figured out my bleeding situation (via the diagnostic procedure we did today) the anemia should right itself. I pointed out that the bleeding was a one-time situation 6 months ago. I'm giving this a day, and then I will ask them to tell me what to do about the anemia. In the meantime I'm eating iron rich foods and cut out alcohol.

As for today? I can't keep my eyes open. My nethers hurt. That anaesthesia stuff really works. And I can't stop using the restroom. I am going to hit the sack, now, and see if I can sleeep off the drugs.

Return from Vacation

The week at work was up and down. Pulling materials and prepping for a YouTube shoot. Trying to remember what to say in what order on camera. Turning right around from on-camera talent to Right away pulling together digital collections of material we showed off on camera for our colleagues to use as stills in the filmed segments. Pause the action to do photo documentation of some offices with a photographer at work. He reminded me that there was a New Year's mochi pounding underway, so he and I went to that.

I participated in the pounding. That mallet is so heavy! And then they made mochi balls with the still-warm mochi and put out two sauces -- red bean paste and a thick shoyu sauce. It was beyond delicious. Then back to work.

On Friday I worked from home -- still collecting the digital files for the YouTube segment. Mrguy wandered in and mentioned that during the night before he'd had one of those episodes. Kind of the worst one yet. He told his oncologist, who asked him to go to the ER to get checked out. So we did. I brought my work computer so I could continue with the project, but the connection wasn't great. Still I was able to hand off, and explain to my colleagues what I'd been able to accomplish so far and, more importantly, what I had not.

Mrguy is fine. The odd thing about this episode is that it's been mysterious. He has them during infusion or close to the time of infusion (day of, and now night after). His doctor has removed various drugs from his regimen, only to have the episodes continue. This time he only had 5FU. But he had *no* 5FU once, and it still happened. He's had it on and off Kanjinti. And I believe on and off Oxaliplatin, but I'm not sure about that. It's gotta be his pre-med regimen. This would be good, because he needs those drugs in order to be alive, and stuff.

In the meantime, his regular neurologist has handed him over to a neurologist who specializes in seizures. And, in a few weeks, he's going to have an electroencephalogram *while* having his infusion. Bring it on!

I liked this plant that was in the ER parking lot...pretty in winter.

Penultimate Vacation Day

Vacation was niiiice. I like vacation. On the last day, we painted alebrijes. I bought them for Christmas, because one of the most relaxing days we had on our cruise in 2013 was a few hours painting alebrijes in Cozumel. Ahhh.

So that's what we did last Sunday.

We listed to the Red Album [aka Sons of Hawaii: Folk Music of Hawaii]. I bought it in mint condition many years ago, with autographs of all members, including Gabby Pahinui. We also listened to Buddy Fo Live at the Shell Bar.  

There was drama in real life, as the cheapo paint I bought for the project wasn't very thick. 

Mrguy pivoted after his purple was thin *and* wouldn't dry, and moved on to using black, which was thicker. He ended up making the most darling alebrije. 

My bottom layer of paint was thick and dried fast, but none of the other paints would cover it, so I needed to make the other paints mix with white (thick) for contrast. I often say that constraints are a good thing. I wound up really liking my result. After a while I used a tool that I bought in Bautzen many years ago that is used by Sorbian folks to decorate Easter eggs with colored wax. That really helped.

Our new friends have joined our original friends on the kitchen shelf.

And I started a little touchup on a pencil sharpener that an old boyfriend gave me years ago. I only use mechanical pencils, but I think this little friend is so sweet that I keep him around.

So ends holiday break 2025.

Happy New Year

One of my pet peeves is people who say good riddance to the previous year, assuming the next one will be better (or just out of habit). My prediction for 2026, although I'm already enjoying the numbers, is that it will continue in much the same way. Find joy where you can. Create joy where you can.

I already found joy in this 1986 photo depicting a Macy's Parade balloon of Betty Boop. She goes into the public domain in 2026, and this is the photo accompanying the article about that fact. The balloon seems to be deflating, and it looks like the photo was taken before the local neighborhood was cleaned up. The marquee at the bottom advertises 3XXX Hits "French Erotica" and "Naughty Girls". This, sports fans, is the New York of the past.

[But back to misery]

I wrote this on New Year's Day, but didn't publish it. In the ten days since, "we" have:

• Overthrown the regime of Venezuela, captured Nicolas Maduro and his wife and thrown them in jail in Brooklyn
• Murdered a protester in Minneapolis, which was recorded on many phones on the scene and then told the world that we did not see what we saw
• Told the world that we were planning to take Greenland by force if necessary
• Stated that we were going to cut off Venezuela's oil to Cuba, which relies on Venezuelan support for some of its livelihood
• Threatened to bomb Iran

I'm sure to be forgetting something. There is so much, every day.