One of my favorite things in the world during COVID lockdown is my local Facebook Buy Nothing group. The group members are not only generous, but they are also wry and funny. I love to give away weird stuff, and I love to get weird stuff. Especially food. If someone tells me that something has a weird flavor or they didn't like it, it makes me want it more. Those non-Gardenburgers that the lady didn't like? They were delicious! Still haven't gotten to the fish in my freezer that the lady caught but doesn't have time to cook now that she has a baby, but when I do I am sure that it will be tasty.
It was on this premise that I raised my hand for the non-wheat konnyaku noodles. Lady said she didn't like the taste. What if I try it and it becomes my favorite flavor? I raised my hand, drove across town and picked it up off of her porch.
Last Monday my podiatrist suggested that I go on a 30-day diet and exclude wheat, dairy and sugar. As readers of mrsguy are aware, these items are at the base of my food pyramid. This is really a challenge, and I feel like there is nothing I can eat. So yesterday while coming back from mom's I recalled the fake noodles and thought I'd give them a try. I looked at the package "15 calories" -- ok that is also a bonus.
I heated the noodles, added some tomato curry from the other night, and made myself a meal, with a mountain of broccoli on the side. It was...fine. I get what the lady said about the flavor, which was un-foodlike. What was striking, however, was how hungry I felt eating it. So I ate another helping. Then I ate some potato chips and a tomato. OK, that felt like a bust, as calories go.
One hour later the pain started. I felt as if I could sense the edges of my stomach stretching, and had the sensation of something pricking the edges of my stomach, on the left and right sides of my body, to get out of me (in not the usual way). So I look up "konnyaku noodles gastric distress" and find out that it is a THING. Feast your eyes on this headline:
Great.
So I told mrguy and he was so concerned the he started calculating the nearest emergency room and wanted to make sure that I knew the location of my medical insurance card. For real.
Later in the evening was our monthly salon, and our topic for the month was the 7 Deadly Sins. I had intended to tell a story about Sloth, but given my recent episode, I decided to combine Wow and the konnyaku noodle story into a twofer of Gluttony.
Although things felt dire yesterday, this morning I show no ill effects of my adventure.
No comments:
Post a Comment