The Latin Orgy

JVL had the best calves in the business. Toga-wearing Latin teacher business, that is. He was bald, charismatic, bespectacled – a fantastic storyteller who made history come to life. And he put on a hell of an orgy. I was one of his students for freshman and sophomore year.

Yes! It was the 1970s, and if you were to look at my freshman yearbook you would see photos that proudly showed the Latin Orgy, which was the highlight of the end of the school year. Our quiz and test results for the year were calculated numerically, giving each student a certain amount of coin to spend on one thing – slaves. We freshmen were the slaves.

The run of show went something like this.

Morning:

• Orientation
• Slave auction
• Olympiad (track and field events – long jump was my fave)
• Lunch: served by slaves to their owners. Mine, dubbed Davidens Fortens, was super cute and pretty much a kind despot. After all, we were a bunch of introverted Latin nerds.

Afternoon:

• Chariot race around the exterior hallways. JV looked fantastic. He really sold his role as Senectus (literally wise person) with his scrawny legs and impressive calf muscles. Do I recall some varicose veins? With his toga artfully pinned but still waving in the breeze he stood tall in his plywood chariot (pulled by students?) and made it about halfway around the school before the chariot began to smolder and the race was abandoned.
• Then we had a warship battle in the pool in inflatable boats.
• Finally, we watched the movie Hannibal, with Victor Mature in one of his finest historical roles.

It was probably one of the best days of my high school experience. I recall it as respectful and hilarious and fun. And I know that when those of us who participated get together as adults we talk about it and wait for the shocked reaction of our partners. “You had a Latin what?? You had slaves? That is so wrong.”

Yeah, it was!