Retirement Plan

Three years ago I knew I would retire and some day my mom would die. I wanted help preparing for those two big life events, so I hired a therapist. Several months after starting therapy with a nice but very young therapist he told me that he would no longer be accepting my insurance. It was a godsend because I had felt like he was over his head with me. So I found a new person, lickety split. And she's great.

Just in time! Right as my new therapist and I started working together, mrguy got sick and I really needed someone to help me navigate this. And I no longer had the bandwidth to deal with my increasingly cantankerous mom. Mrguy's illness gave me clarity. Readers of mrsguy know the story well.

My retirement plan started in earnest in January. Mrguy's recurrence helped focus my thoughts, as did a realization that I'll never get a chance to do the things I wanted to do in order to prepare for leaving. I have always feared leaving a mess. But that's what work allows me to do -- make messes and move on. I am coming to terms with this, and realizing it has made it easier to let go. 

Finally, I will miss everything about the work people and the work place, but how much of it all do you need? I have tried during my time at the factory to be observant, to enjoy, to smell the flowers -- to appreciate every wonderful thing about it.

I've had a plan for some time. If I get into the Academy of Forklifts I stay for a while. Then if there are layoffs the choice will be made for me. There's a forklift convention where I'm giving some talks, and that would be a good time to say PEACE! and drop the mic. And maybe there will be a forklift bonus at the end of the year. I have a retiring friend who is staying for that. Again, after mrguy had his recurrence I didn't care a whit about any of that. He kinda wanted me to stick around, but I told him that if he died and all I had was a pile of cash to hug I wasn't going to be happy about it. The time is now, you know? But he has a great attitude and thinks he's going to live for a good spell with cancer.

The layoffs are in a few days. My fingers are crossed because that would be the easiest thing. I have an external hard drive coming today, and I'll use it to grab personal stuff off my computer -- all those random folders that say "send home" and the personal mail between mrguy and I. Maybe some resume stuff, like some of my keynotes (or just the text of them). Not so I could give the presentations elsewhere, but to enjoy things I've created. I have made things.

And Hammerslag, you can have those two keynotes I wrote for the big forklift convention next month.