Mama The Swatter

I'll try to make this quick, because the mama situation has such peaks sometimes that it is even less fun to read about than to write about or experience. 

I preface this by saying that we have had two good nights and ok days after her doctor prescribed a small amount of Seroquel to be given at night.

In addition she is recovering from hives caused by the two or three drops of CBD that she got two weeks ago. And her painful rash in her sensitive areas is quieting down. And the Influenza A is going away. The broken toe and joint inflammation in her foot? Who knows. She's stubborn enough to walk.

Remember that part in the last post where I said things were improving? This was apparently wishful thinking. Mom was acting out and provoking my visiting sister during her whole visit, yelling and calling her a liar and a bad person. When admitted to the hospital for the flu, she apparently was auditioning for the role of Elderly Emergency Room Insult Comic. She swatted anyone away who tried to help her, take drugs, administer medicine. She tried to rip a guy's pocket off his shirt, muttered stream of consciously about who was a bad person (hint: everyone) and looked at a guy and called him a "fat pig" to his face. Over at my house I was still trying to have a vacation, but being on the other end of the phone line from someone who is first-hand experiencing it isn't that relaxing either.

Jabber jabber jabber, as my mom would say when she's done hearing what I'm saying...

Anyhoo, she was discharged and came home, wouldn't stop crying, wanted me to come over, and my sister fed me bacon and red wine while I tried to get the mama to simmer down. I got the mama out of her clothes, tucked her in and she started to fall asleep. I went home. My poor sister had another whole day with her before going home. Yikes.

She was still off her rocker until I took her to the doctor, where she was a pussycat. We have a plan, the doctor and I, and things are better. Hammer (my sister) went home, she has declared herself "done" (definition to be provided later) and I went back to some gnarly days of work, either preparing for a film shoot, attending a film shoot or preparing for presentations and giving them. More long-term employees gave notice, which means more scrambling, and I am extra thankful for a Friday holiday.

Odd Vacation Activities

Relaxing also means reading the obits. Robert Pritikin, recently deceased, had a very full life. Among his many accomplishments? Recording an album that I actually own, called "There's A Song Inside My Saw".

I can't find it on Youtube, so you'll just have to imagine it. But while we're discussing Robert Pritikin, and while I was looking for the video, I found this:

Anyway, here's to lives thoroughly lived. To Robert Pritikin, and to Tom Gonzales, a lovely young colleague who left behind a wife and young children, and had so much more left to do had he been given more time.

May Vacation

I took a week off work so that I could have some downtime.

Let's say it didn't get off to a great start but things are swell now. 

On Saturday I was still feeling the effects of Thursday's Covid booster.

Sunday morning's Google Meet with a friend was interrupted by calls from two different caregivers, never a good thing. Most of Sunday was spent shopping for things needed by caregivers of "suddenly bedridden people who can't wake up", and then helping the caregiver on duty with things that require two people. When she suggested we get some Ensure because my mom wasn't awake long enough to eat, I began to panic a little. I'd never seen mom so helpless. She did wake up long enough to whisper "You've hurt me" after we were done rolling her over and the caregiver left the room. Caregiver T was amazing that day.

Almost all of Monday was spent communicating with my sisters and the local Wellness team, buying more supplies for mom. I found myself considering, for possibly the first time, whether she could actually be a woman who was dying, rather than a person who was most defiantly living. But good omens come in all forms, apparently. In her case it was poop in the livingroom. If there is poop in the living room she must have been awake enough to navigate there. Also this was a head's up that the new side-opening briefs I got her on Sunday were pretty lousy at retaining their contents. Today...

Everything seems fine. As recently as yesterday afternoon I was thinking about abandoning vacation entirely. 

Anyhoo, thanks for the trip, Lazarus! Just like my dad, I swear. He could be almost dead and then you'd go visit him in the hospital and he'd be acting like the mayor of whatever wing he was in.

By the time evening arrived yesterday, I was settling in to a night of watching sumo with clamdip and her husband, and things finally seemed to be turning around. Thank god for friends! And at this very moment I'm putting up a batch of lemon-lime marmalade that I'm giving away on my buy nothing group *just* because I want to make marmalade. 

Boy kitten is sleeping sweetly on a chair.

All good -- until next time.

Mother's Day 2022

This wasn't the only thing that happened on Mother's Day, but it was one of my favorite things.

Please Release Me

I have never ended a relationship in non-anger, but I did that last week with miss wartz, a very dear friend of 40 years. She doesn't read mrsguy. 

I love her so much, and we've gone through long periods of time without speaking, which has always been kinda ok. I have a hard time sustaining the feels for this friendship, but when we reunite we can talk about things that we can't talk about with anyone else.

During the pandemic we spoke weekly, mainly initiated and sustained by me for over a year. And then as things eased up a bit and she went back to work in person it was over. It took me about three times asking and her saying maybe next week that I actually got the hint. Oh! This is a thing! I felt like I not only couldn't talk to her but I couldn't talk with her about why she didn't want to talk.

So I waited. 

Then a few months later I reached out about something awkward that I needed closure on if we weren't going to talk any more. I'm sure that this did not make it better. And then I waited until now. Almost a year. But the waiting was stressful and sad. So I wrote to her.

I told her that if there were reasons for the silence I am sorry. But I can't wait and hold that part of my heart open for her until she's ready to be in touch again.

And now I can *not* wait and that feels so very much better.

Asparagus Festival 2022

'Tis the season! It's Spargelzeit, yo!!

I took the day off work in order to go to the Asparagus Festival. It was a great excuse for a road trip with my man, especially since I have not been more than 72 miles from our home in 2 1/2 years. We got 9 miles further this time! The clouds were the high point of the day. Check them out!!

A pit stop (or as I like to think of it, the opportunity to buy beef jerky and Donettes):

Then on to points of genealogical interest, because mrguy's great-great aunt lived in the red light district of Asparagus Town. In news accounts of the day, she was described as a woman of "the half world". We've been doing a deep dive on local history to learn more about the city's tenderloin, the bull-pen, the red light district and the social history of 1914, in order to understand her life.

She disappeared from a river boat on which she was traveling overnight with a man with whom she'd been living at The Ideal, a hotel in the tenderloin. A red light district abatement law had gone into effect two days earlier, and I have to wonder whether she was working on the boat that night. They arrested the man she was traveling with, and found the woman at the bottom of the river several months later.

We drove into town:

Found the block where they were living:

Found The Ideal. Cool to think that she walked through this door at some point:

It seems to be unoccupied at the moment. The ground floor was last a bar, and you can see through the dusty windows that it had white penny tile floors. The bar itself is not there, but the brass rail is still in place.

Then off to eat asparagus. I was worried that the festival would be a super spreader event, but it was sparsely attended in its first few hours (last time we went on a Sunday and it was packed). We grabbed some food (easy peasy) and an asparagus margarita for me, and watched a cooking demo. Very pleasant.

Then we went to see what we could see, which included this unicorn bicycle. Also they have a dirt track for car races, but it was closed. Oh well : )

Best weird sign goes to the one that said "I scream, you scream, the cops come, it's awkward! Have a Snowie shave ice instead!" Note: there are three of those margarita booths in what is a fairly small fairgrounds : )

And finally, a big thumbs up to any booth that sells food whose mascot is the food, but with legs. Hey, mister lemon!

On the way home we started making plans to come back and poke around some more, move to the area, that sort of thing. The drive through the delta was heavenly. More clouds, water that changes color every mile based on the clouds.We stopped to buy cherries on the side of the highway. As we were pulling back onto the highway with traffic at full speed behind us, a tiny gold car with a bashed-in front end and an accordioned trunk lid that was waving in the air drove across the double-yellow from the other direction straight at us. Mrguy said he looked like he was a refugee from the demolition derby. Luckily mrguy saw him in time and the dude veered over to the cherry stand. 

That weirdness aside ("yeah, maybe we won't move here") it was a fabulous day out, and we were back home by 3:30 for naps with cats. Mrguy sent me a real estate listing for a nearby town while I was asleep. 

Wooo!

Adventures in Neurology 2022

Doctor: "Can you tell me what year it is?"

Mom: "Why do I need to know?"

She has a point, that wily little mom.

First, I want to say that my mom has calmed down again. Things are better. That's the good news. And I did take her to the doctor.

The upshot from the doctor is that all of the drugs she took during her hardest time at the beginning of the pandemic are things that were appropriate to use and can be used in the future, but need to be given in a large enough dose to do some good. The downside of this is that if you're trying to stop her from throwing things, she will stop throwing things because she will no longer have the energy.

His recommendations? More activity for my mom. "Wear her out!", adult day care, and CBD. 

"Do you have a brand and dosage to recommend?" 

"CBD is completely unregulated, so no, but some people say it helps."

So I bought some CBD that was recommended by one of my sisters, and then I went to NUG. Yes, I went to my first dispensary, just down the hill. Everybody was so nice and I felt so awkward. I am now armed with CBD and have to figure out what to do with it.

To be continued.